My Last Post -- for now

By the time you read this, I'll probably be hopping gâ'axao stations (in suspended animation, of course) on my way to Earth, if I'm not there already. We've been having connection problems somewhere in the line, so I typed this up and asked that it be sent as soon as possible.

Anyway, I can't be long at this, so I'll just explain briefly. They're going to be suppressing my memory -- putting some false memories in. As far as anyone on Earth is concerned, I took a very long vacation around the world. And even if I do manage to regain memory, if the Xala decide not to start any serious trade relations with any nation on Earth, they've made sure there's nothing to prove they were ever there. "No verifiable evidence", they call it -- which I presume is their version of plausible denial.

Anyway, I'm sorry I couldn't do more. They tell me that they'll put a yela'kaja on to give some updates and such on whatever news there is. As for me, I'm just going to return to Earth, recuperate from all that crazy food and all the planet-hopping, and be a normal human being again -- at least until they decide to bring me back (if they do).

The Things You Can Learn from an Old Yela'kaja

Still stuck in a hospital. Such a pain this all is. I actually feel perfectly fine, but the Tzállö are keeping me in here for another day because of some test result or other. The yela'kaja apparently can't understand Tzállö medicalese nor translate it into English equivalents, so I really have no idea what the problem is.

However, when all you have to talk to is a yela'kaja who was basically ordered specifically to accompany you as a translator, you can learn things. We had a conversation recently -- not about the Tzállö or about their terrible dark planet -- but about yela'kaja, and about Xala in general.

Here's how it started: for some reason the yela'kaja here has nothing better to do than just sit here and keep me company. Now, on the other planets, my yela'kaja were always busy with something or other when I didn't specifically need them to guide me around or act as a translator. Most of the time they would have their own little screen handy and I'd see wierd characters all over it. But this one didn't, so I asked about it.

Me: Do you actually have nothing to do?

Yela'kaja: I am doing my job, looking after you and acting as a translator. That is what I was assigned to do.

Me: Yeah, but every other yela'kaja I've met always had something else to do when I didn't have a specific question or something. Come to think of it, every Xala I've met always looks extremely busy.

Yela'kaja: Well, that was on Jed and Kesata, both planets with lots of Xala everywhere.

Me: I don't understand.

Yela'kaja: Ah, of course. You're an alien -- and a new one at that ...

At that point, he informed me that, by volunteering to work on integrating worlds (his word), the worlds that were still being slowly incorporated into the Trade network, he was pretty much able to work at his own pace -- despite that he had to be moved around quite a bit due to some strange rotational scheme. "The Xala like to run things slowly on these worlds -- too much progress can mean collapse of governments, anti-Xala sentiments, and hostilities if allowed to form could mean war whether the Xala attempt to stay or simply pull out.

Anyway, on with the conversation:

Me: So, you have the lazy guy's job, right?

Yela'kaja: Right now, yes, dealing with you is the easiest job I've had as far as I can remember at the moment. Of course, what I was doing before was giving me some trouble. I was working with a race that I believe you know a little bit about, the Ŋasux [he said that as "NGHAH-sookh"]. You might know them as the Ŋãna

Me: Oh, yeah. So, they pulled you off negotiations with them to deal with me.

Yela'kaja: You might say I had to in order to keep the development of relations from dissolving

He didn't elaborate any more on that. I got the idea that I wasn't to know the details, so we went off on another set of questions regarding the difficulty of his work, and what all the yela'kaja do, when he comes out with this:

Yela'kaja are really among the shortest lived out of all Xala.

I did a double take on that, but he clarified it. Apparently its not the stresses of the job itself, but the sheer physical stress of the transformations -- especially if a given yela'kaja has to transform more than once in it's lifetime. Most Xala will live for well over 200 years, many nearly 300 -- but yela'kaja often only live to around 130, maybe 150 if they're lucky, and more like 90-110 if they're not so lucky. The only caste with a shorter lifespan?

That would be what you call "nurses" -- the roa'gogo. The stresses of laying so many eggs can shorten their lives to less than 80 of your years.

Now, granted, the baseline Xala lifespan is very long compared to us -- but it still must seem crazy to cut your life so short just so the Xala can have a little better communication with an alien race, or not:

The Xala do not wait for natural, physical death, as you and many of the cultures in the trade network do. A Xala is dead when he can no longer serve Jed Êdag and the race as a whole. I have lived for over sixty-four cycles, putting me at around 115 years old in your system -- and I'm already showing my age. This is probably my last transformation, and if I can't be made useful after you leave Lazga, I will be declared tyexala -- a dead being -- and will commit suicide. I think I'll do it right here, by poisonous fungus if I can find some -- I can't do the tyogex tyeg ko' without wings, and the tyogex caxol just won't do -- to painful and too much trouble getting someone to stick me with a poison spur.

Yes, that's all exact. I basically set up my machine to record that directly as it went into my ears and I understood it. I would post more, but this is getting very long, and the Tzállö doctors are coming in to do some more tests. I'll try to get more down on those death rites or whatever they are if I can stomach it. Of course, that's assuming the Tzállö don't kill me with all these tests.

Stuck in a Tzállö Hospital

Well, I'm feeling better, but once again the Tzállö have me quarantined and "under observation". they won't even clear me to get to the gâ'akaxaoda station. Anyway, I'm stuck here in this hospital sort of place. Of course, a Tzállö hospital is an entirely different experience from an Earth hospital. Obviously, there are no lights except for the ones that were put in my room for my benefit and my headlamp (which still has't drained its batteries! Quite impressive!) And rather than white, most of the walls are dull gray plastic, with very smooth black linoleum. Everything is very cool and smooth with a lot of metallic-looking textures, which I suspect conveys the same concept of sterility for Tzállö that stark white conveys for humans. The doctors wear very smooth clothing that almost looks like latex rather than fabric.

Anyway, I have a private room, as always, though it's smaller than hospital rooms I've seen on Earth. There's also nothing here for entertainment -- no window, no TV -- not even the Tzállö equivalents. The yela'kaja tells me that Tzállö usually entertain themselves in hospitals by reading, though obviously I couldn't read anything in their library -- It'd just be a bunch of raised squares to me. So, I'm stuck talking to the yela'kaja and surfing the Internet through this magical little device. Wish me well! I just hope I can get off this weird dark planet sometime soon.

Don't Eat the Black Sauce

Ah, I haven't been able to post for, what, a week or so? Why is that? Well, first of all, there's some sort of weird interference down in these tunnels that makes it difficult to get my Xala typing machine-thingy to work. Then, of course, you have the fact that I can't activate it around a Tzállö without drawing attention and probably at least seeing their nose and ears twitch a bit in anger (one time one of them just plain screamed at me to turn it off -- hurling some insults that the yela'kaja refused to translate).

But mainly, I've been sick for the past few days. The yela'kaja tells me that its some bug that I got in the tunnels that apparently affects humans more than it does Tzállö, but I don't know. All I know is that I've been in Tzállö hospitals for a few days recovering -- with a lot of that time spent in a Xala stasis chamber while they figured out what to do. I'm still a little woozy from all the drugs, but they tell me that I'm fine.

As for the cause, it may have been a bug, but I kind of think something I ate recently had something to do with it. I've graduated from mushrooms, moss, and insects to some of the meats -- some of which are served with this thick black sauce called kyadwö. Anyway, I didn't know when I was eating it, but afterward it was explained to me that the title ingredient, the kyadwö, is actually the Lazga equivalent of mildew. That's right, a sauce made from mildew. It actually tastes really good -- but I'm quite sure it was part of what made me sick.

Anyway, I'm going to be returning to Jed as soon as I'm good and recovered and they can make sure I don't have any diseases. The yela'kaja said that he thinks the stresses of traveling from planet to planet "contributed to the illness" (I'm still saying it's the sauce) and is going to recommend sending me back to Earth. That's fine with me, but I would like to see Kesata again before I go.

Anyway, the moral of this story: If the Xala make full contact with Earth, and you have an opportunity to go to Lazga -- don't eat the black sauce.